by Drew Ellis

Toddlers are learning about the world and their place in it, and that can lead to some big emotions that they may not know how to handle. Toddlers have a developing brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for regulating emotions. Additionally, toddlers are still learning to talk and may not be able to express their feelings well. These factors often lead to blow-ups. However, there are steps you can take to help your little one deal with big emotions.

Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
When you acknowledge toddlers’ feelings, you show them that you hear them and that their emotions are valid. This builds trust and strengthens your bond. By letting them know it’s okay to feel sad, mad, frustrated or scared, you create a safe space where they can express themselves freely. This is crucial for their emotional development.

When you validate their feelings, it shows them they don’t need to act out to be heard. Over time, they learn to soothe themselves and express their needs calmly. To do this, keep your language simple and focus on their feelings – not the situation. Show empathy and use nonverbal cues as well.

Help Them Name Their Feelings
Toddlers may not have the vocabulary to express themselves fully. You can help them by labeling their emotions, such as “Are you feeling angry because you can’t have that cookie?” Toddlers are still learning to talk and may not be able to express their feelings very well. This frustration can lead to even bigger meltdowns.

Toddlers are a whirlwind of emotions, but putting a name to those feelings can be tricky for them. Throughout the day, talk about their emotions in a casual way. For example, “You seem excited to see your friend at the park!” or “It sounds like you’re frustrated you can’t climb on that rock.” Books and flashcards with clear illustrations of emotions can be a great teaching tool. Point to the pictures and discuss the feelings they represent. Act out the emotions with funny voices to make it more engaging. Toddlers will eventually build their communication skills and be able to name their own emotions.

Use Calming Techniques
Calming techniques help toddlers learn healthy ways to manage their frustrations and strong feelings. By practicing calming techniques, toddlers learn to manage their emotions independently. This is a crucial skill for emotional well-being throughout life. Having a toolbox of calming techniques equips toddlers to deal with challenging situations in a healthy way.

Introduce calming techniques during playtime, not just during meltdowns. This way, they become familiar and more readily used when needed. Turn calming techniques into a game or activity. Sing a song about taking deep breaths, blow bubbles and watch them float up slowly, or do silly yoga poses together. Children learn by observing adults. Practice calming techniques yourself when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. It takes time and practice for toddlers to master calming techniques. Be patient and offer support as they learn.

Set Limits with Love
Setting limits for toddlers with big emotions can feel counterintuitive. However, clear and consistent limits actually provide a sense of security and help toddlers navigate their strong feelings. Limits provide structure and help toddlers understand what’s expected of them. This predictability fosters a sense of safety and security, which is crucial for emotional well-being.

When setting limits, focus on the behavior, not the emotion. Acknowledge their feelings but limit the action. Use positive language. Instead of saying, “Don’t hit,” say, “Use gentle hands.” Positive language focuses on the desired behavior. Offer choices when possible. Be firm and consistent, and follow through with natural consequences.

Your Toddler Can Learn to Manage Difficult Emotions with Help
Toddlers are little emotional whirlwinds, and their big feelings can be tough to handle for both them and you. But the good news is there are many ways you can help them develop the skills they need to manage their emotions healthily.