by Paul Miller

Over the years, I’ve realized that my emotions at work directly affect my ability to perform at my best and interact effectively with my team and others in the firm.

Therefore, to create healthy and productive work environments, we all must understand what emotional intelligence is in the first place. The Harvard Business Journal defines emotional intelligence as “an individual’s ability to accurately recognize, understand and manage their own emotions as well as that of others.” This means that emotionally intelligent individuals are good at reading into people’s emotions and choosing an appropriate reaction.

Emotional intelligence has the strongest impact on performance compared to 33 other workplace skills. Recent research shows that it influences 58% of success across all job types.

Reflecting on over 25 years of practicing law, it is clear that learning about emotional intelligence significantly enhanced my ability to attract work, complete tasks and interact effectively with colleagues at my firm. However, the journey to learning this part of oneself does not happen overnight.

We come out of law school prepared for very little of what really happens on a day-to-day basis in a busy litigation practice. The stress of learning as much as possible and as quickly as possible can be overwhelming for young lawyers. It is likely many of us have dealt with what has become known as imposter syndrome. Little did we know that many others shared our fear of not belonging in the practice of law, thinking the opposing counsel at a deposition, motion or trial was far more qualified. It is impossible to quantify the impact this had on initial success.

“The ability to understand one’s emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness. To be self-aware means you have a clear understanding of your emotions, strengths and shortcomings. This means you’ll find it easier to own up to your mistakes and admit it when you don’t know something. It’s also easier to process how a certain situation makes you feel.”

When we began, we were nervous, scared, perhaps a bit panicked, and maybe even anxious about drafting a mediation brief, a motion record or any document that would be reviewed by someone more senior than us. As senior members of our firms, we can support younger associates by alleviating the stress and anxiety they may experience in the early stages of their careers. If we want the best work product, then it is incumbent to communicate to associates that we have all been there before. Encourage them to ask for help. Emphasize the importance of asking questions and that it is not a reflection of poor skills on the part of the associates. If we, as mentors, truly mentor and build everyone up rather than tearing them down, the final product will be much better.

“By having a clear understanding of your shortcomings, you also make an effort to work towards improvement. Those improvements may then result in higher chances of success on a personal and professional level.”

This quote applies to everyone in our firms. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. The best coaches in sports put their players in the best position to succeed. That is not to say we ignore shortcomings and don’t work on skills that need improvement, but we will build confidence in ourselves and firm members by placing them in positions that they feel most comfortable.

Self-regulation is arguably the most important aspect of emotional intelligence translating into success. “Self-regulation is having a clear understanding of your emotions.” Instead of reacting to every feeling, take a breath. Go for a walk and avoid catastrophizing. “Once you are out of this stage of anxiety and stress, you can effectively control your words and actions, helping you make calculated moves instead of impulse decisions.” I have never met anyone, including myself, who can maintain common sense, structured thoughts and high-quality work when unable to self-regulate their emotions.

Leaders in the office must take the steps required to decrease the outside noise that can deter them from achieving maximum production. When employees have emotionally intelligent managers, there is greater engagement from staff and greater productivity. The days of criticizing and berating young lawyers for mistakes are long gone if we want greatness to be achieved. It is critical to stop focusing on the negatives of past performance and start creating an environment whereby mentors guide how to improve one’s performance. Always start with one to two positive statements followed by suggestions to improve the final product.

How can this be achieved? First, we, as mentors, need to evaluate our own emotional intelligence. Attending a session regarding leadership and emotional intelligence or getting a coach is a great step in the right direction. It is critical to gain the confidence and trust of your team of lawyers and staff. Here are some ideas for improving your team’s emotional intelligence:

  • Enrolling staff in emotional intelligence training, mindfulness and stress management courses.
  • Setting up team building exercises to get to know each other (it is especially critical post-pandemic if you’re still in a hybrid work model).
  • Encouraging a culture of open communication with regular opportunities for employees to voice how they feel and offer feedback.

The workplace is a happier and more productive place when leaders understand that emotional intelligence is a critical aspect of life in the 2024 workplace. The more we all understand emotional intelligence, the more effective we will all be in achieving the same goal.